Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Precious Time

As I watched with eyes that were heavy due to lack of sleep, I saw the clock turn to 3:00.  I remember sitting there telling myself to go to sleep.  It wasn't like I was still feeding him.  I could have easily put him back in his bassinet and laid down to catch a few z's.  Instead I continued to watch the clock with one eye and him with the other. 

This occurs every night.  The need for sleep but the want to freeze time or at least not waste it.  Having him here with me makes me realize just how precious life really is.  There is no time to waste and every moment should be enjoyed.  Why waste hours on sleep when I can sit and stare at something so precious?

The realization of "precious time" hit hard yesterday when I was talking about daycare.  Daycare is something that is pulling on my every nerve lately and he hasn't even started.  You see, he will be in daycare for 10.5 hours every weekday.  Yes, that is 52.5 hours a week.  He will be spending more waking hours in daycare with people who aren't his parents than he will be spending with me.  When I think about how much time he will spend with me each weekday I just want to scream.  We will only be able to spend about 5 waking hours together each weekday.  Just 5 hours, totally not enough "precious time". 

Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I am over reacting.  But when you lose a child and have another, you realize that the time you have in life is precious.  You realize that you need to enjoy every single moment and not let any second slip away. 

"Precious time" is something that shouldn't be shared with daycare.  "Precious time" is the reason why I stay awake through the night while I stare a something so beautiful.   It is something that is given to us as a gift from above and we should treat it with love and care. 

No comments: