Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Past 31 Weeks

I can't believe it, yesterday marked 31 weeks.  I have never been this pregnant before. With Wyatt I only made it to 29 weeks and 1 day gestation. 

Up until now, I have been posting everything on Wyatt's blog at www.wyattswhisper.blogspot.com.  I feel as though I should sum up the past 31 weeks here on Nolan's blog.

After finding out that we were having another baby on November 23, Brian and I were more than excited to say the least.  We quickly told our families and announced the fact that Wyatt had blessed us.  Shortly after that, the fear set back in.  We were quickly faced with the "what ifs" of a heart parent.  We ensured that we worked closely with all of the doctors so we could receive early detection for Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), which was the medical condition that caused us to loss Wyatt. 

On January 27, Brian and I drove up to CHOP to have the first Fetal Echo for this baby.  Though we were nervous and the unknown was stressful, the visit resulted in us finding out that this little gift has a perfect heart!  Additionally, we found out that we were having a BOY! 

Amazingly, the only name that Brian and I had decided on during this pregnancy was Nolan.  I was sitting at work one day when the name just came to me.  I went home and just like with Wyatt's name, as soon as I told Brian the name he agreed to it.  After finding out that we were expecting a boy, we announced the name to our families.  Nolan James.  James after his Daddy and his big brother!

Since January 27, we have had lots of doctor appointments with MFM, the OB, and with CHOP.  We have had a few scares.  The first was during the MFM visit when they thought what Wyatt had was because of a chromosome deletion, then to find out they read the report wrong.  Then there was the horrible stomach virus that I had in February that caused me to miss two days of work and pull every stomach muscle possible.  It was at the end of that stomach virus that the morning/afternoon/evening sickness finally stopped.  For some reason, I was much sicker with this pregnancy than I was with Wyatt.  The lastest scare was when I went in for a routine OB visit at 29 weeks and the doctor told me I had blood in my urine.  After several tests, it was determined that it wasn't a UTI or kidney stones, so the doctor decided to just continue with follow ups. 

As I said before, this pregnancy had me a lot sicker than Wyatt's.  I am however, able to move better.  It doesn't hurt to bend or breathe, and I could actually plant many of my own flowers this year.  I started this pregnancy at 123 pounds and I am currently weighing in at 149.5 pounds. 

As of May 18, our precious gift weighed in at 3 pounds 9 ounces, he was 29 weeks and two days then.  I find it funny how both boys weighed about the same weight at 29 weeks.  Wyatt was delivered at 29 weeks and 1 day and he weight 3 pounds 12 ounces.  Nolan's heartbeat started off at 158 and slowly went down.  When we had our first ultrasound his heart rate was 143 and he was in the 43rd percentile for growth.  At the last ultrasound, Nolan's heart rate was 133. 

The hardest part of Nolan's pregnancy so far has been getting through the milestones that we made it to with Wyatt.  Of all of the milestones, the hardest was completing the baby registry.  We stuck with WalMart and added Target as well.  We kept the nursery theme the same but changed a lot of other items. 

Brian has done a wonderful job on the nursery.  He has spent countless hours in the room and it looks wonderful.  We decided on green and cream (which looks more like pale yellow).  I will do a separate post to provide pictures of the nursery.

All in all, the past 31 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions.  Most of them have been happy and excited emotions, but a few painful and heartbreaking moments have come into play also. 

Everyday that comes and goes allows for our little Nolan to become bigger and stronger.  Over the past week or so, he has been kicking and moving much more.  His little kicks are a lot harder than they used to be causing me to sometimes yell ouch in the middle of a conversation.  I am not complaining though, these strong little kicks and nudges tell me that he is doing wonderful and will be here in just a short 9 weeks.

Our Rainbow

I remember it like it was yesterday. 

Amidst the grief of losing our little Wyatt, we were provided with a gift from God and our angel.  We were provided with a rainbow.  A rainbow with colors full of life to give us hope and allow us to move forward slowly.  So you ask, "What is a rainbow?"

Well, a rainbow or "rainbow baby" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm.  When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath.  What is means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.  Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope. 

Yes, that's right, on November 23, 2010 we found out that we were having another baby.  I had a feeling for about a week that I was pregnant, just a slight inclination.  I decided not to test until a day after the joyous flow was suppose to arrive.  I had been let down too many times before when we were trying with Wyatt.  I stopped at the CVS on my way home and picked up a three pack of pregnancy test.  I don't know if I got the three pack because I was sure I was pregnant and was going to use all of them to prove it to myself, or if I had a bit of doubt from begin let down in the past.  

I came home and decided to take the test immediately.  I held the heart shaped angel pendent with Wyatt's photo in my hand during the entire test.  After completing the test and waiting for the time to elapse, I kissed the pendent and asked Wyatt to allow for this to happen.  Soon after, I looked down and was in shock.  The stick said "Pregnant". 

I quickly washed my hands, kissed Wyatt's pendent again, and ran outside to tell Brian.  He was working on his tire when I showed him.  He was in shock as much as I was, he said, "Get the f%#& out of here".  We both couldn't believe it.  After so many months of trying with Wyatt, so many rounds of medications and a round of IVF, here we were finding out that we had conceived our second child on our own!!!