Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Our Rainbow

I remember it like it was yesterday. 

Amidst the grief of losing our little Wyatt, we were provided with a gift from God and our angel.  We were provided with a rainbow.  A rainbow with colors full of life to give us hope and allow us to move forward slowly.  So you ask, "What is a rainbow?"

Well, a rainbow or "rainbow baby" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm.  When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath.  What is means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.  Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope. 

Yes, that's right, on November 23, 2010 we found out that we were having another baby.  I had a feeling for about a week that I was pregnant, just a slight inclination.  I decided not to test until a day after the joyous flow was suppose to arrive.  I had been let down too many times before when we were trying with Wyatt.  I stopped at the CVS on my way home and picked up a three pack of pregnancy test.  I don't know if I got the three pack because I was sure I was pregnant and was going to use all of them to prove it to myself, or if I had a bit of doubt from begin let down in the past.  

I came home and decided to take the test immediately.  I held the heart shaped angel pendent with Wyatt's photo in my hand during the entire test.  After completing the test and waiting for the time to elapse, I kissed the pendent and asked Wyatt to allow for this to happen.  Soon after, I looked down and was in shock.  The stick said "Pregnant". 

I quickly washed my hands, kissed Wyatt's pendent again, and ran outside to tell Brian.  He was working on his tire when I showed him.  He was in shock as much as I was, he said, "Get the f%#& out of here".  We both couldn't believe it.  After so many months of trying with Wyatt, so many rounds of medications and a round of IVF, here we were finding out that we had conceived our second child on our own!!!

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